Parenting Is Scary As Hell
by angelmariecloud
Summary: Sequel to Love Is. With a baby on the way Ghost and Roach learn the pains and joys of parenting. Soap learns that parenting gets scarier as they get older. Price learns that being a surrogate grandfather is more a pain than an honor... Rated for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Six Months In

Gary groaned as he tried to roll over, only to have his six month pregnant belly, hinder him. While he was glad everything was running smoothly, the pregnancy was progressing beautifully he was not happy about the latest developments. John and Simon had been deployed a month ago and returned with a straggly old man named John Price that took one look at Gary, made a strange noise and left. The hormones didn't help him one bit, and he burst into tears at the rejection of MacTavish's former mentor. Simon ended up getting in a screaming match with the old man until Sasha intervened and cracked both men at the back of the head with her two hands while Scarecrow entertained Sierra. In all honesty, Gary hadn't expected to get so huge at six months in. Gary and Simon had agreed on one thing, they would let the sex of the baby remain unannounced.

Simon's face appeared above his shoulder.

"Want some help love?" He asked. Gary scowled.

"I'm huge!" He whined. "I can't even turn over without someone having to help me."

"Aw love, I think you look great." Simon said as he helped Gary to roll over and then sit up.

"I don't see how. I can't see my feet and the doctor says that I still have another two months of growth and development. Besides, you're opinion is biased cause you love me."

Simon kissed Gary's cheek and nuzzled his neck.

"Don't fret darling. Come on, let's get you dressed and fed."

"I think my feet were swollen yesterday but I couldn't tell because I can't see them."

Simon had taken to waiting on Gary hand and foot since the start of his second trimester. The hormones had their setbacks, and Gary's emotions were a bit more sensitive since. Simon had accidentally made Gary cry, twice within the fourth month of the pregnancy, earning a sharp slap from Sasha. It took twenty minutes to get Gary dressed and ready for breakfast. Price was already at the table when they arrived downstairs.

"Morning Gary." Sasha said as she came in carrying a tray of various fruits and nuts.

"Morning Sash."

Simon pulled out Gary's chair and helped ease him into it. He adjusted the cushions and left to go gather some food. Gary smiled at Price.

"Good Morning to you Captain Price." He said, for John's sake, he'd try to befriend the old man. Price didn't respond to Gary. "Did you sleep well?" Still no answer and Gary frowned. Then without another word Price got up and walked away.

"He's not very nice." Sasha said. "Why are you being nice to him?"

"He was John's mentor. Besides, I'm not doing this for my sake, it's for John's. He seems genuinely happy to be around the grouchy man, so I'm gonna keep trying."

"Don't let him upset you though. I'll knock his bloody teeth in if he dares to try to slight you."

Gary was in the library later that day when Price actually said something to him.

"You a friend of Soap's?" He asked.

"What?" Gary asked, slightly confused.

"MacTavish."

"I was his subordinate. And I'm his brother-in-law on the account that he married my sister."

"And Ghost?"

"We're married. Have been for almost a year and a half now. Simon is John's second in command."

Price seemed to be taking it all in.

"I never pictured Ghost for a Nancy."

"Don't talk about him like that!" Gary said, affronted.

"I don't care what you think Gary. You're just the little freak that got pregnant even though you're a man." Price said. Gary gasped, his eyes welling up.

Simon came in at that moment and so did John. Simon rushed to console Gary and John motioned for Price to follow him.

"Don't listen to that bloody berk.ˡ"

"He's right though isn't he?" Gary whispered. "I love our child, but this… this isn't natural."

"Gary, Price is an arse and nothing he says can detract from the fact that you're the bravest person I've ever met. You faced down Shepherd with a loaded gun and you didn't flinch. You were in a wheelchair at that point in time, remember? You were thrown on an abandoned island but instead of crying you fought to survive. You're six months pregnant. Every day is a challenge to even get up, but you still do it and you haven't complained about all the aches and pains I know you feel, you simple ask if it's normal. Our lives haven't been but that's what I love about being around you. Our lives are special and I would never trade a moment of it."

John led Price to another room.

"I've asked you not to pick on him." John said.

"I'm not going to sugar coat anything Soap."

"Damn it Price, he's trying to be nice to you and you're throwing it back in his face. This is his house and he's letting you live here. Why are you so hard on him?"

"Someone has to give him a reality check."

"He's been through enough for someone so young. You don't know the whole story. He's happy now."

Price regarded John for a minute and sighed.

"I'll apologize to the lad."

"Not right now. Simon might be tempted to kill you and make it look like an accident. Gary is his whole world and he's going to protect him."

Simon managed to calm Gary down quickly and they were eating when the two men entered the room. Price sat down again.

"I'm sorry lad." Price said. "I was out of line. You spend so long in captivity and you forget how to act around others."

"It's okay, you just need some time to adjust to being around people who don't want to kill you." Gary said. Price stared for a moment, stunned that Gary had made a joke then he chuckled. Gary grinned cheekily at Simon. "See I told you that I'm funny."

"Cheeky brat." Simon mumbled. John grinned.

"It's your fault he's so cheeky."

"Sure, everyone just piss on me.2" Simon complained. Gary snickered.

"Aw my poor baby." Gary said. "Oh!"

"What?" John asked.

"I think the baby just kicked. Damn, right in the kidney. Ouch."

"Definitely gets that from you."

"That was only once."

"Gary kicked you?"

"Again, that was once and I was asleep."

Price burst out laughing, and they all blinked.

"He laughs?" Simon said.

"I didn't even know he smiles. He's almost as bad as John."

John's face was priceless. It was one of utter shock and annoyance. Simon almost fell off his chair laughing, he did however slide down it. Sasha entered at that moment with Sierra. Sierra was almost two now, and the small child toddled in and stared at Simon. When he actually did fall off his chair laughing, she went over to him and hugged him.

"Good morning princess."

"Unkie Simon." The little girl said.

Gary smiled and shook his head. Sometimes he was amazed at how quickly kids grew. He looked down at his belly.

"Try not to grow up too quickly, all right?"

**AN: Hey everyone, as per requested I decided to make another story. This time I included Price, who will be referred to as Price. Please review and don't flame. Also some British slang translations. Berk=moron. Arse= ass (but you probably already knew that). Thought it would be funny for Gary to have all the symptoms real pregnant women have i.e. swollen feet, feelings of insecurity, difficulty moving, etc.**


	2. Chapter 2

Pleasant Surprise

It took Simon a week to convince Price to help him.

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Because you owe him something nice, old man." John teased.

"Yellow?" Price said, his face scrunched up in distaste. "Green would have been better for the little one."

"This is cause Gary wanted to be surprised when the baby gets here." Sasha said. "This rocking chair is perfect for a new parent and newborn. And I went nuts buying all the toys. I couldn't help myself."

"Just remember love," John said. "You spend all our money, we don't eat for a month."

Simon chuckled. He was up on a ladder, putting up the border. It was green and yellow ABC's, numbers and teddy bears. He'd sent Archer to keep Gary busy while they did this just down the hall.

"I can't believe the doctors put him on such strict bedrest."

"Don't be a numpty." John pointed out to Simon. "His body isn't taking well to this whole ordeal. And he's been looking so sick lately."

"Don't call me numpty, numpty."

"Boys." Sasha intervened. "If you talk any louder, Gary's gonna hear you and I don't want this surprise ruined."

Archer appeared in the doorway.

"Gary is asking for you." He said to Simon.

"Tell him I'll be right there."

"All right. We can switch, I'll keep doing what you were and you can entertain your husband."

Simon climbed down the aged wooden ladder.

"Have at it. I'm sick of seeing bears and letters." He left the room and went into their bedroom. "Hey there."

"Hi. What was all that about?"

"You know John, being a numpty as always."

"You're so mean to him sometimes."

"How do you feel?"

"Okay. I'd feel so much better if I wasn't confined to this bed. I swear the baby must think my kidneys are soccer balls, must be your British genes." Simon reached out and smoothed a hand over Gary's stomach.

"Listen up you." He said. "Stop kicking daddy's kidneys. Daddy is very tired and he needs to get his rest. So I want you to go to sleep now."

Gary bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Listen to Dad. He's very wise and he knows what's best for you. Ow! Don't be like that to daddy."

"I took off tomorrow."

"For the appointment?"

"Yes. We need to set up a date for the cesarean."

"Okay. But I'm telling the doctor tomorrow that I don't want to be fully drugged. I was reading that that's not good for the baby, cause then the baby gets drugged."

"We'll discuss it and take the doctor's advice."

"Fine. But I get to pick the date."

"All right love."

Three days later, Simon led Gary, his hand over the other's eyes into the fully furnished baby's room.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"It's amazing. How did you guys do all this so quick?"

"We worked round the clock."

"Thank you."

Gary smiled at Simon then he frowned.

"Oh!" Gary gasped, doubling over.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, it came and went so suddenly that I-ow, fuck!"

John's face became grave.

"Simon, get Gary to the hospital, now." He said. Simon scooped up Gary and carried him down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Archer asked.

"Baby's coming earlier than anticipated. Move!"

Archer grabbed the keys and ran outside. The storm was starting to pick up. Archer got the car started and pulled up to front door. He got out and opened the backdoor to allow Simon to get Gary into the back seat.

"Simon I'm scared." Gary said. "It's too soon."

"You're only a few weeks too earlier. It'll be all right."

"Don't let them drug me, please."

Simon called the doctor on the way to the hospital. The doctor agreed to meet them there. Gary was suffering more than he was letting on and Simon did his best to soothe him.

"Everything is going to be all right. You're going to be okay and the baby is going to be okay."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. It'll be all right love. You need to relax and concentrate on breathing."

Gary was panicked, in his mind it was too soon for the baby to be on it's way. He was only seven and a half months. He was wisked away as soon as they set foot the hospital, the doctor having beaten them there. Simon was filling out paperwork, his eyes darting in the direction that they'd taken Gary. The cesarean took a grand total of twenty minutes and by the time Simon finished the paperwork, the doctor was coming out.

"Congratulations Mr. Riley. Would you like to come see your children?"

"Children? Just how many are there?"

"Two."

Simon fainted. "Mr. Riley?" Gary was a bit groggy from the anesthesia when he saw them bring in Simon and put him on the bed next to him.

"Is he okay?"

"Your husband is a whimp." The nurse said. "You should lie still."

"And my child."

"Children." The nurse corrected.

"Children?"

"You have twins."

"Oh, wow."

"You took that better than him."

"I carried them, can I see them?"

"I'll have them brought in."

A few moments later, Gary saw their children.

"You got lucky. A boy and a girl and they're all in perfect health."

"That's good. Can you give us a few minutes?"

Simon brought the baby's over one at a time, Gary had both his arms full with their children and Simon sat down close by. "What are we gonna call them?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought of that before today. Oh look, she had your ears."

"I think I have a name for this gorgeous girl."

"Oh?"

"Anna."

"I like that, so her name's Anna. And I think for you," he said, addressing their son "I think I'm going to name you Thomas."

"Thomas?"

"Thomas, after your brother."

"Should we tell the nurse?"

"In a minute. I want to give us a few minutes to bond with them."

"Sasha is gonna hit the roof."

Several days later, they were allowed to go home. Anna and Thomas were loaded into the back, in their carseats. It took Simon over an hour to figure out how to put them in the car. When Price teased him he yelled that he was a soldier, not a mom.

Gary was told to rest for next few days; it would take a few days before he recovered sufficiently for them to remove the fake womb, and then one more week of recovery before returning home again. Gary whined because it meant less time spent with the babies.

Simon really was being a trooper; he got up for the early morning cries and patiently rocked Anna who had colic. Thomas once he adjusted to the house, slept throughout the night.

"Poor thing." Sasha said as Simon tried to quiet Anna. "Let me try."

It was the week Gary had returned to the hospital for the surgery. Simon wa struggling a bit but was doing well. Anna cried for a bit longer before settling.

"Thanks. She's so fussy today."

"Sierra had the same problem. It takes alot outta you. Where's Thomas?"

"Sound asleep, thank heavens. He's the exact opposite of Anna."

"Thank heavens Gary gets home tomorrow."

"He was so depressed about leaving the babies. I think he gets nervous when they're not in his sight."

Sasha smiled.

"Typical new parent syndrome." Sasha quipped. "You need to put her down at some point."

"I know, she won't go to sleep."

"Wonder who she gets that from."

"Definitely not from Gary, he sleeps like a rock."

Sasha rocked Anna and she gurgled before settling against her.

"Don't like you right now."

"You know you love me. I got her to stop making her dad deaf. Babies love skin contact. It's a proven fact. Try opening your shirt a bit. I had to go topless for a month until Sierra's colic cleared up."

"How'd that happen?"

"I breast fed her. But since that's impossible, I suggest a different formula."

Gary was happy to be home when Simon picked him up. He left Anna and Thomas with Sasha and Price.

"Why the bloody hell do I have to change him?" Price asked Sasha.

"You'd better change him before he gets diaper rash! He's a newborn and its bad enough Anna's colic hasn't cleared up."

"But I don't know how to change a diaper."

Sasha stared at Price.

"Are you kidding me? You don't have children of your own?"

"No."

"Follow me, I'll walk you through it."

Price followed Sasha, grumbling that he was a soldier, not a baby sitter. But he quieted down at the look she gave him. Enemies with RPGs he could face with no problem. But Soap's wife was one hell of a scary woman when she was irate. "Okay, lay him on the changing table. Good now open up the onesie on the bottom, the buttons should just pop open. Now, grab a clean diaper from the pile and a few baby wipes. Good now open up the diaper he has on but be careful, baby boys have the tendency to-"

It was too late. Thomas peeped on Price's face.

"Pee. Wipe your face with a baby wipe and continue on. Wipe him down and roll down the diaper away from him. Good now, grab his ankles and lift him to get the back of the diaper under him, no, wrong side. Better, the swaddlers have the dip in the front. Good, now close it up. You're done. Congratulations, Grandpa Price, you've just changed your grandson's diaper."

Price picked up Thomas and held him.

"You're a lot of trouble little one." Thomas cooed in response. Price smiled down at him.

"I think he likes you." Gary said from the door. Simon was standing behind him for support a grin plastered on his face.

**AN: I read that the possibility of having multiples increases when doing invetro only because they implant multiple embryos. So of course this also explains why Roach was so big at six months. They would have known it was twins had they asked about the sex. I also thought it would be hilarious to have Price try to change one of them, only to be peed on. I know it's a bit OOC but I couldn't resist the humor. To clarify because I realize that it wasn't really all that clear, Roach was implanted with an artificial womb. The hormones he was taking was to stabilize the pregnancy so that his body wouldn't reject it or the babies.**


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